Have you ever written a letter to Santa? When you were young and you truly believed.
Perhaps, if you are like me or my friend Mark, there was always a twinge of doubt; tiny but apparent.

That feeling – that belief – that place your mind took you when you didn’t know enough not to believe – that is your beliefus-maximus.

If you actually wrote a letter to Santa, that physical action shows your ability to believe is greater than others.

If you said “Screw that.” like Mark or I probably did, your beliefus-maximus is lower than the rest.

Maybe, no matter what you believe in, you are destined to only be able to believe it up to a certain point.

I think that is why there were armed guards blocking the door when Jim Jones asked his followers to drink the poisonous kool-aid. He knew some of them would run for the door.
I wish you could buy a beliefus-maximus upgrade at Fry’s Electronics.

I looked, but the guy said they “didn’t have one.”

Of course, I said “No, I mean do you have any other ones” – I say as I’m holding one in front of his face.

I swear those guys at Fry’s Electronics have no freaking idea how to help a person find something. If they say they don’t have it – look – it’s probably there.


  1. Katy

    I think that for me, my ‘beliefus-maximus’ is running flat-out to take a flying leap over all of our world’s ‘known’ (looking down as I leap to acknowledge these things) and landing on the other side of this jumble of confusion to what I have come to know about God. The more experience, exercise, and practice I have with taking this leap determines if I land on those things I know about God, or if I end up plunging headlong into the world’s ‘known’.
    Whatsoever we pray for, let us also work for it – (somewhere in the Bible)

    Bart -
    “eat my shorts”, Fry’s Electronics

  2. Mark McCowen

    I’m trying to get my beliefus-maximus so small I can drown it in a bathtub.

    Just because a person believes in something that doesn’t necessarily make it true. What if I believe in zombies? Do zombies exist? What if I took actions according to that belief?

    I guess my rule is to stick to what you can know with near certainty (I say near certainty since we can’t know anything absolutely) and disregard the rest or at least realize that you’re dealing in probabilities, guesses, or just gambling.

    Wow. That was really hard to explain. I guess it’s because I see a difference between belief and knowledge.

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